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Handling The Surprise Flirt
June 2007
Greetings to you my friend. I hope
you are doing well and that your social life has been kickin' ass --
and if not... well then I've got some interesting new stuff in this
June news that should get your game crankin' as we slide on into the
hot 'n sexy summer season. Let's get started...
Audio Book?
Lately I've been hearing some noise that you guys might be
interested in an audio version of my books. I guess the i-pod
generation would rather listen than read, which is cool. Both
methods are complimentary ways to learn that re-enforce each other.
I've got to investigate the hardware and software that I'll need to
produce it, but that shouldn't be too hard I suppose (any
recommendations for a good app to produce quality mp3's?).
Drop me a line if this sounds like something you might be interested
in. Knowing what a blabbermouth I am I'll probably stray from
the written text and embellish points along the way to make them
clearer, so I expect this will end up being more like a classroom
lecture rather than a stiff, perfectly accurate reading.
This is the advantage of being a self-publishing do-it-yourselfer
;-)
Mee-Meep! New E-mail
Address
Well, good old Adelphia.net is finally defunct. A few years ago the
old man and his sons took the "perp walk" for their greedy sins, so
Time-Warner came in and picked over all the bankrupt bones -- and
now I've been forcibly moved into their system. Therefore my new
e-mail address from now on is:
mike.pil@roadrunner.com
Mail will continue to be forwarded from my old adelphia address to
this new one for about 6 months and then will be hard bounced back
to you. So be sure to update your address books if you need to stay
in touch with me for advice or whatever. You can also contact me at
mikepil@highstatusmale.com of course.
Handling
the Surprise Flirt
You're at the corner Gas-N-Go doing some mindless chore picking up a
12 pack or something, when suddenly you find yourself face to face
with a doe-eyed little cutie who's gazing at you with that glassy,
just a bit wide-eyed-and-lost look that we all love to see.
You smile and make some bland remark about something and she lights
up and either gives you a great return smile, or maybe... just a
flash of a slough-eyed, sexy look -- deepening the signal.
Pre-occupied though, you make nothing of it -- exchange a few
pleasantries and she turns away -- swaying that sexy backside as if
to demonstrate what you're missing out on. You spot her
once again at the counter while checking out, but either she won't
look at you now or gives you that quick sort of longing "could have
been" look and then is gone. You get in your car and a
few minutes later while driving back home think to yourself...
"Geez, was that chick flirting with me or what? Maybe I should have
got her name..."
And so it goes... another unlikely surprise chance to
hook up with a hot little number shot down the tubes.
It's like watching a hanging softball glide through your strike-zone
without even taking a swing at it. This used to happen
to me ALL the time! Not frequently, mind you (I wish) --
but whenever I did seem to catch a surprise flirt like this the
result was always the same... nothing! That's because my
reaction to it was always the same: total lock-up!
Part of this failure to engage can be chalked up simple disbelief:
by the time you realize... "hey, is this chick flirting with me
or what? Me?... Ugly ol' me?..." the magical moment has already
gone sour and the opportunity is kaput. I talk in my books
about how your best chances with women will often seem to happen
unexpectedly when and where you least imagine them -- which is why
it is so very important in gaming women to be able to switch gears
and spring into action at the first sign of any sudden connection!
When you're in a club or at a party you're already adjusted into a
flirting, pick-up sort of mindset -- but many times it doesn't do
you any good. The women are playing it aloof or viewing
all your attempts to connect with them suspiciously... you know how
this drill goes.
In the meantime, you're still kicking yourself in the ass for having
missed that chance yesterday with the girl you bumped into while
folding your socks at the laundromat! This kind of "real" shot
can have ten times the long term potential of some drunken hook-up
with a bar floozie. If you've been working the bars then
you know what I mean.
So this "catch-a-chance" sort of skillset can be critically
important to your grand, overall success with women.
Alright then, with this idea established let me share with you a few
of my thoughts on this ONE particular maddening aspect of gaming
women: the surprise flirt.
1) Don't freeze-up wondering why YOU could be her guy --
The single biggest killer in this situation is HESITATION.
Like so much of the sport of gaming women, timing is everything.
However, in this situation minutes don't matter, seconds
matter. When a chick opens a sudden flirt you literally have a
window of opportunity available to you that's measured in mere
seconds. You should almost see a ten second counter open up
over her pretty little head that immediately begins running down
9....8....7.... to remind you of how little time you have to act in
a way that plays perfectly off her opening volley. The
big mental block as I mentioned before is often disbelief.
But while you're wondering if a chick this cool could actually be
flirting with a lowlife such as yourself, precious seconds are
ticking away and with it goes your chance! If she's not immediately
seeing the reaction she was hoping for from you... she reads this
as a rejection! Once that happens she will pull back
(I've actually seen them physically snap back) and the flirt is
over. Women have no tolerance for rejection and will
rarely try to push through it like a ballsy guy might.
MAJOR RULE: You never know what
any other person in the world considers to be their "type".
You've seen tons of hot chicks hooked up with gross, grubby dudes.
Need I remind you of this sad fact of life? So don't
waste any precious time whatsoever wondering how some chick like
this could find someone like you attractive enough to flirt with.
Just accept her judgement and GO WITH IT!
Also, avoid making a snap judgement yourself as to whether or not
she's your "type" (within reason, of course). You can
sort all that stuff out later and besides, you've got to give women
of all types a chance to grow on you a little bit. To do that
you're going to have to see them again, right?
So your first objective in all this is to condition your mind to
never question her judgement or your expectations -- and to let
yourself immediately just go with the flow, full bore. No
falling back into your psy-protective shell and then making endless
excuses about it all later to yourself. No over-thinking
of what's going on, no suspicion of motives, no paranoia, no
DISBELIEF -- none of that crap must be allowed to intrude
into your mind at this critical moment when you're "on the clock" --
because that stuff will only result in lock-up, and once that
happens it's game-over.
Instead, you want to...
2) Drop Dead and Smile -- Your most important "gaming
women" tool! By this I refer to the need to control any
fidgety movements or weird twitches that might betray too much
discomfort on your part with the idea of spontaneously meeting
someone (or worse, flat out panic). Let her be the one
nervously rocking back and forth on her heels (so cute!) while you
hold a steady, solid eye-contact and a sweet sexy, appreciative
smile. This demonstrates that you're NOT all that
surprised by the attention of women -- just like a classy high
status male would be, right? Look, I know this stuff
will always be a high pressure deal, and the fact that it sometimes
just drops in out of nowhere makes it even worse! She's
nervous, you're nervous, the fat guy watching the two of you on a
security camera in the back room while beating his meat is
nervous... everybody's nervous! There's no
booze-buzz involved here remember. But realize that this
does not have to go down like a well-rehearsed scene from a slick
movie in order to work either.
So try not to lock-up worrying about your performance -- no one
expects a virtuoso performance at the drop of a hat.
Neither is this a cold approach where you're expected to say
something thrilling and clever. She'll cut you slack on
a fumble or verbal stumble -- just keep moving the ball forward
somehow and you'll be okay! Again, pre-conditioning of the ol'
numbskull is the only way to achieve some degree of
instantly-available charm. You have to pound these "calm
& cool" ideas into your noggin all day long so they will pop up in a
situation where you need them immediately.
3) A sudden flirt is always your Chance to Shine -- It
doesn't matter if your silly little joke is lame or if your words
are stuttering or smooth (or even what exactly you say to her), the
important thing is that you are attempting to react to her gift
of a flirt in a positive way that reflects all those good
feelings right back at her! Your willingness to pick up
a flirt and give it right back to someone speaks volumes about
yourself instantaneously... and it's all good stuff! It
says that you're likely active socially (and therefore something of
a catch), have good self-esteem, that you're pleasantly extroverted
around people almost as a reflex, and so on.
This is the best way to communicate all of these various types of
qualities to women... with your ACTIONS rather than your
bragging lips!
You're being given the opportunity to put yourself over with a quiet
charm instead of a lot of blather, and you should seize this chance
with enthusiasm because it doesn't come by very often. A
woman initiating a flirt is taking a personal risk to give you a big
juicy GO signal in the only way she knows how -- admittedly a bit
awkward and the entire "surprise" thing is somewhat unfair -- but
unfairness abounds throughout the universe of man-woman affairs of
the heart, and so why should this aspect of it be any different?
Re-arrange your head to recognize this event as a fat & sweet chance
to show off your stuff, rather than to turtle up and wait for "more
data" to come in. Data that will NOT be coming
along anytime soon (remember that ticking countdown timer...).
4) Let her "Win" the flirt -- remember, she
started all this and so it's really her play. That
means if you blow her off and fail to respond to her flirt (even if
it's because of your own stuff, i.e. your fear, disbelief or
whatever) it won't matter, she'll feel rejected and will quickly
flee the scene. But... if you pick up her flirt and give
it right back in a fun and friendly way, then she wins!
By that I mean that you've confirmed her charm as a woman... she
"won" your male attention! Get it? This sort of thing is
thrilling to a woman and puts her in an instant happy/satisfied mood
from which you can naturally be expected to seek to want to know
more about her. It plays into all her "chick flick" fantasies!
Once you've spread the good vibes around in this way therefore, you
should...
5) Follow up immediately or as soon as appropriate --
Unless she's just being some kind of major prick tease for some
unknown reason, any woman can only expect a Man to want to follow up
on this chance encounter and meet up with her again. Get
her name and number and pop it straight into your cellphone, or use
a low-tech pen and scrap of paper, whatever you need to make it
possible to hook up with her again. Or, maybe you could
offer to meet her somewhere within the next 1-3 days at some common
ground, some "happening" place? A nightclub, a corner bar, a
local event, a bowling alley... whatever. Whatever fits
your particular style and surroundings and is a place that you would
normally frequent. Figure out what this actual place would
be in advance and have it stored away in your noggin always ready to
use.
Then just invite (don't "ask" and especially don't beg!) her to meet
you at XYZ Club this Friday night... you know they have great
steamed clams or killer Buffalo wings, etc. (know something about
the joint!). Make it a safe, public venue that you would
usually hang out at... somewhere she would certainly know about if
she lives in the area. Invite her to meet you there for
a drink or a coffee or to watch you play softball. "You seem
very charming (cool, fun-loving)" is all you need to say.
Simple words spoken where they are
welcome will rock her world!
Inviting her out to a public party spot also has the added benefit
of making you seem like a social, happening guy -- rather than
whining for her "magic 7 digits" like some porn-downloading nerd.
Tantalizing any woman to join your world as opposed to "saving
you" makes a big positive statement about your high male status.
These impressions may be subliminal, but they are very important and
psychologically powerful. This is how she gets a quick
"read" on what type of guy you are, and if she would like to pursue
you further. These are the elements of that elusive chemistry
that women are starry-eyed for!
So in review, DON'T JUDGE WHY -- DROP DEAD AND SMILE -- LET HER WIN
THE FLIRT -- HAVE A PLAN FOR FURTHER CONTACT. Write these down
on a card and stick them on your mirror so you can see them when
you're shaving every morning and help you create ideas for how
you're going to handle each step. This will also drive these
ideas deep into your unconscious mind so that the next time you get
hit with a surprise flirt from some hottie pumping gas next to you,
you'll be able to react to her challenge within seconds... confident
that you know approximately how to handle this type of situation
already. Learn to fall back on your training, your
mental training, when that timer starts ticking.
Because your best chances to meet interesting new women will always
seem to happen in the real world outside the club -- and so
that's where you'll need to be able to call up your instant
reserve of charm... at the drop of a hat.
Or in the sparkle of an eye. |
