In June of 2004, I was asked to contribute to a new e-book called Interviewing The Seduction Masters -- a compilation of several conversations with writers like myself who've published relationship books similar to Without Embarrassment.   Here's a transcript of my contribution to that project.

What is your major operational philosophy when you decide to approach a woman that you are interested in?

The most important thing to understand about seduction in a philosophical sense is that everything is easier when you can draw a woman's interest in your direction first by showing her a great male display, before you go charging off like some wild 'n crazy guy on a mission to "score the American foxes".  I realize this isn't always possible and that the risk to the male ego can never be completely eliminated because the variables involved with two human minds interacting in such a complex way are astronomical, but it does help to create a more authentic sort of confidence for the guy if a girl at least seems to be nibbling at his bait a little bit.

Male display?

Male display is the term I've invented to describe the combined effect a guy can have on a member of the opposite sex with his look and style, the appropriateness of his dress, the attitude of supreme confidence in who he is (plus where he's going), and the level of social connectedness that he seems to possess.  It's the complete romantic "vibe" about yourself I guess you might say.

I guess I watch too much Discovery Channel, because some of the wildlife shows have been giving me ideas. I noticed that in the animal kingdom, it always seems to be the male who's responsible for making some kind of elaborate display for the female - a fan of brilliant peacock feathers, a croak that can be heard half a mile away, a powerful birdsong, a fancy dance step, etc.   All to get her attention for the purposes of mating.   The female doesn't return the show however… she just hangs back and observes all of the various males displaying for her, and chooses from what she determines to be the best among the lot.

The interesting thing here is that it's the female who does the actual choosing of the mating partner, not the male. The male only (possibly) has the option of choosing from among those females who have already chosen him first.   Any male who advances on a female that has not signaled her choice of him stands to be rejected.  See how it works?   This is how the game is played all up and down the food chain… the women hold all the power in the mating dance -- at least until sex has occurred.

Humans are really no different than most lower animals when it comes to primitive drives like mating, although due to the sophistication of our behavior born of our higher intelligence our rituals are far less obvious than in most animal species.  Still, they do exist.   They are so subtle however that a lot of men stumble through life without ever really understanding their value or how important they are to getting women to see you in a favorable, potentially romantic light.   As men, we have to learn to operate within these constraints and limitations.   Some guys are naturals at putting out a strong male display almost from the time they hit puberty, and these men never have much problem meeting and dating girls.   As you might expect, the readers of my book are made up mostly of guys who occupy the far opposite end of this spectrum -- guys who never got the hang of putting out a proper male display.  I myself was one of these guys for many years, my entire teens and almost all my twenties in fact, before I finally figured this out.

I guess the point is that meeting and seducing women has to be considered more like fishing than hunting - your easiest path to success is to try and make yourself into the best possible male displaying "bait" you can manage, and then simply work your nibbles.  This surprises a lot of guys because it's just the opposite kind of idea from all these proactive "missions" to the malls and nightclubs that a lot of dudes confuse with an effective way to meet women.   Of course, working the meat markets is still doable with a lot of effort and a thick skin for rejection (and can also produce faster results) but the problem with this kind of truncated mating ritual is that many of the meetings that result turn out to be little more than flash-in-the-pan type encounters that never amount to much (not even one night stands like you might expect -- because a lot of girls get their kicks from stringing along guys who haven't played the game properly, and then dumping them).

Women can seem evil and heartless when they're in this 'mating mode' because -- without some sense of connection ever having formed -- it's very easy for them not to give a shit about a guys' feelings.   Get clear on this: most women will not put out for a dude without some kind of electricity being present first, although many have no problem teasing him all night long with the possibility.

The methods I teach take more time and require some patience because you have to keep on displaying until a good opportunity shows up, and you never know when and where that will happen.   So you need to adopt a willingness to stop whatever you're doing at a moment's notice no matter where you are or what kind of time pressures you might be feeling and work your chances whenever they pop up.  Make the good display 24/7, and then stand prepared to react when you get a 'go' signal.

Hey, everything in life is a tradeoff, and picking up women is no different.  You want fast results, prepare to eat a lot of rejection.  You want to protect your ego, prepare to wait for the right fish to swim by.   That's how it goes.

Many guys struggle with trying to move things from a friendship level with a female to a romantic level.   Is it possible to escape the platonic friend zone?

This is a very tough battle that has only a slim chance of ever working.  Once a woman pigeon-holes you away in that part of her brain that's reserved for "friend only", you basically become something like a brother to her.   And that's how she imagines the thought of becoming your lover… the same way she would feel about doing her brother!   Now you see why changing this image of you in her mind can be like pulling teeth.

Regardless, I get a regular stream of mail from guys who want to know how this chick they've been hanging around with for the last few months (or even years!) can be turned into a girlfriend.   The only answer I have is to recommend they do something to shock her in order to get her thinking totally differently about them.   You have got to do something unmistakably romantic that is completely out of character based on the way you would normally behave around her.   It has to be something that violates the unspoken limits the two of you have set upon your respective behaviors.   The simplest way is to just get up in her face, take both her hands in your own, and confess your feelings about her in no uncertain terms.   No dancing around the subject by sending flowers (which could actually bewilder her) or doing something wishy-washy and vague that can be open to misinterpretation.  Remember, she doesn't see you in this "man-woman" way - you have to crash her consciousness and scramble up the comfortable view she has of you.

There are two things to understand here: one is that she might just laugh at your efforts because she just can't accept it, and the other is that the friendship is probably going to be ruined from that point on regardless of what happens.   You have to make an assessment in advance of how valuable her friendship is to you, because once you even attempt to cross this line there will be no going back to having things be the way were.   She's always imagined that you simply didn't have these sort of feelings for her -- and now that she knows that you do it will always make her uncomfortable.   You'll find her beginning to make excuses to cut back the amount of time the two of you spend together, until finally you hardly see each other at all.   Been there, done that baby.

Here's the whole problem in a nutshell: friendships between men and women are very difficult to pull off (especially for people in their sexually dynamic years) because it's basically just a big one way street.   Women generally get what they want from the friendship, i.e., emotional support and companionship, but this is ultimately frustrating for the man because it is never really enough for him.   Men want sex from women, plain and simple.   And because that particular subject is off limits in this type of relationship, the man begins to feel the friendship slowly becoming more and more hollow for him.   That's when he gets the urge to turn it into a sexual relationship, but by then the neutral manner in which he is viewed by the woman pretty much precludes this from happening.   The game is lost.

The best way to avoid all this friends bullshit is to establish right up front as soon as you can (immediately upon meeting her is actually the best time) that you find a woman interesting in a romantic sense.   If you disguise your true feelings (or refuse to honor them) and establish this non-sexual, "friends first" pretense with her as a sneaky way of getting into her heart through the back door, it is very difficult to reverse engines at some future point and suddenly have her come to accept you as a lover.   Your ego will take an even bigger beating this way than if you would just admit to and accept your feelings from the start.   Save yourself the headaches and heartaches and avoid this sly, ineffective "friendly" way of seducing women at all costs. It's the cowardly method of the ego-shielding, low status male. I know this first hand because I was a major offender of this important man-woman rule in my distant, miserable, socially barren past.   Nobody had more friends than me, and it sucked!

What is your secret move that you consider the most effective for getting a woman really into you?

It's really just a continuation of the point I was just making.   Get off on the right foot immediately in terms of establishing your romantic interest in a woman, nothing is more important.   Nothing.  This is by far the best way to kickoff any potential relationship and seduction, and it's why I tell guys to give up on these deals that they've already blown by failing to make a good first impression, or by having become the woman's friend.   Better to just forget about these misfires and start off with a clean slate.   Women are all about that magical first moment of contact with a man and the quality and excitement of the connection they make with him.   They have this fantasy about chemistry and being swept away and all that -- and the closer you can match aspects of this universal female fantasy with your own personal style, the more powerful can be the impression that you will make on the unconscious part of her mind.   And her unconscious is your target zone… this is where she "decides" if a guy is hot or not.   The input from her rational mind only acts as a controller of her outward, visible behavior… not of how she actually feels about a man, remember that.

Many women can't help but become caught up in this kind of surprise moment, their romantic self-control is simply too weak.  You can see her eyes light up and the involuntary body language signaling a favorable response to a guy who just suddenly stepped into her universe and made a knockout first impression.   The way to do this is to project a laid-back, confident image and make it abundantly clear that you like what you see.   The great smile, gentle handshake and clean introduction of yourself… a bit of a mischievous flirt and gentle tease (draw a laugh to diffuse the tension), and most of all the deep look into her eyes.

So eye contact is important?

Eye contact is extremely important!   It's interpreted subconsciously (in a man/woman context) as the "copulatory gaze", an instinctual mating behavior which signals the highest stage of shared intimacy shortly before the start of sexual activity.   Not that you're going to be having sex at that moment (although it's not completely out of the question depending on the circumstances), only that this vital bit of information is being signaled through to the back channels of her brain.

Non-verbal communication is also important here… verbalizing a sexual feeling even as a joke immediately turns most women off.   Their instincts inform them that sexually active males never feel the need to use words to communicate their status as virile men.   This is an colossal LSM (low status male) blunder.   All the most significant communications between men and women in a mating sense are made without words during the initial stages of the seduction.   Remember that, if nothing else.

A woman should leave any well managed first encounter thinking that she's just been stunned by a charming-sexy-brilliant-hot guy, however she may define that.  True, your physical presence figures into this somewhat, and even a perfect play on the guy's part may not be enough to ring her bell if you're just not her type, but the fact of the matter is that you can never be sure whose "type" you are anyway… only that you are someone's.   That's why you must constantly endeavor to plant these little "flirt seeds" everywhere you go and then feed off your promising return signals.

Then on all subsequent encounters with her, because of the fact that your desire for her as a man has already been established, it will seem appropriate and welcome for you to escalate the relationship further in that direction.  She understands now that you dig her in that way and won't be freaked-out by the idea.

What steps would you take when you want to get a woman into a more intimate or sexual mindset?

It's a two step process that takes a bit of time -- I don't know any instant "hypnotic" methods like most of the other stage magicians seducing women out there seem to.   The first step is to give her a very powerful whiff of your male power.   You do this by assuming an attitude that she's already yours, but that you've chosen to tease her and not give it up to her right away.   There has to be a playfulness about your manner along with that sort of "knowing" look in your eye suggestive of a cat toying with a mouse he can gobble up any time he wants to.   It will drive her crazy… and she'll be wondering what the deal is with you (but she'll be loving it!).

Depending on the dynamic between the two of you, she might give it up that night (in which case it was a one step process, I guess).   But likely she'll have to sleep on it (although I'll bet she won't be getting much sleep that night!…) and let your mysterious "high status male" impression filter its way deep into her unconscious mind.   There it sets off mating triggers that go back to a time when we were all swinging in trees.   Women are hardwired to mate with those males who behave in a way that signals they understand they are the best among their peers… the leaders of the pack so to speak. It's the same machinery that has all of us guys chasing after young women with big tits and narrow waistlines,.

Anyway, the next time she sees you get ready, because she will be hot to jump your bones!

When are women most likely to initiate sex in your opinion?   Is there something we can do to make this happen more often?

When they think it's their decision.   And this fits perfectly with the theory I talked about earlier when I described how it's the female who does the actual selecting of the mating partner in most species of animal (including the human one).   How she ultimately chooses from among the best of the males displaying for her.   The way to get yourself chosen early and often is to keep your male display polished by striving to put out the best signal you can in the form of attitude and style - one that illustrates you to be a male of some accomplishment.   And I don't mean putting on some kind of flashy, fake "rich dude" look either -- there merely has to be an air about you that suggests you're the kind of guy who has regular access to women… that you "get some" from time-to-time, and that you're not a complete social outcast.   How you carry yourself speaks volumes about you.

What do you think is a common flaw that a lot of guys do wrong in their attempt to be more sexually attractive?

They worry too much about coming up with the perfect thing to say instead of trying to give off a quality impression of their male power.   The rich get richer, and the poor get poorer in this world.   It's no different when it comes to women as it is with money and all the other forms of societal status that we know and love… political, corporate, academic, athletic power, etc.

The 24/7 non-verbal expression of yourself as an HSM (high status male) is far more important than any clever blather you could ever dream up.   In order to "get it" you've got to act like you've already "got it".

Get it?

Should guys worry about trying to get back an ex?

No!  Crawling back to old flames is nothing more than classic low status male-type behavior.  That sounds harsh but I'll explain why… because it describes you as a guy who wears his limited access to women on him like a sandwich board.  You see, everything you do makes a subliminal statement about yourself, and sometimes it's a lot more than you might realize.

Doing this sort of thing to yourself reinforces in your own subconscious mind (where it counts) your inability to chose from among the larger selection of women out there at will, and thus contributes to your lowered self-confidence in general.  It speaks of a scarcity mentality instead of an "abundance" one.   Then you walk around with your shy, hang-dog attitude on a mission to prove that your negative self-assessment is correct by holding up all the shitty results you get with women as proud evidence.

You've got to break this cycle, not feed it.   Move on to new experiences and dump the past, or it will burn away at your soul like a slow-acting acid.

Do you have any quick tips or suggestions on eye contact?  It seems many guys are confused about this issue.  What works for you?

The only tip I have is that you should do it early and often -- it is the most powerful tool in your seduction workbelt.   Men who practice gazing deeply into the soul of women at every opportunity they get are considered sexy.   Plain and simple.  You should always work your eye contact with a gentle sort of "knowing" smile to maximize the effect of communicating to her that you like what you see.   If you're shy and have trouble with eye contact, you can always use the old salesman's trick of staring at the upper bridge of the nose.   Most people can't tell the difference.

Do you have any real live seduction story that you would like to share with us?

I was at a house party being thrown by some guys I knew from high school (this was a few years after graduation, we were in our 20's by then).   There must've been 50 or 60 people crammed into this dude's apartment… loud music, beer on tap, pot smoke in the air, etc.  Like that.   One of the girls in a nearby group of five or six women was an especially stunning looker.   This hottie was wearing a tight baby-T that was broadcasting the delightful fact that she'd left her bra at home!   I mean this little sweetheart was sporting the nicest set of bullet nipples just straining to bust through her shirt fabric.  Impossible not to notice.   In fact, nobody failed to notice.  Especially all the guys.

I hung back and just scoped out the situation for awhile, seeing if I could pick up any clues to get some kind of hook to use on her, and wondering how to bust in on her friends.  What did she seem like?   Party slut, airhead, big flirt… what?   Naturally, every fuckin' doofus in the place took his turn parading by and gawking at her tits and making some kind of rude comment that he imagined was utterly brilliant.   I remained across the room and watched her reaction (NOTE: study your prey!). What kind of chick dresses in such a provocative manner?   Normally you would think the kind that feeds off the lurid attention of men, but this girl it didn't seem to fit the profile.   Some chicks take pleasure in jutting their tits in a dude's face and laughing at his nasty remarks, but not this one.   She actually seemed put off and somewhat embarrassed about the jokes all the guys were making about her see-through shirt.   I got the sense that she was uncomfortable about the fact that she'd "forgotten" to wear a bra, and figured that maybe one of her pushy girlfriends had talked her into it.

Isolating her from the group was my next problem.  Generally when you work a group you kind of joke your way in there or use a mutual friend or something to get them all to recognize you.   Another way to do it is to intro yourself briefly and hand your target a business card with your home phone scribbled on it and say something like "I can see you're busy with your friends, but I'd love to meet you.  Please give me a call."   However, this only works in restaurants or situations where you can just blow in, make the card play and beat it the hell out of there… leaving them thinking 'who was that masked man?'.   In an environment like this, you can't make the quick mysterious exit so you need to work your way inside and hang in there through all the initial discomfort.   Another important thing is to spread your attention around the group evenly and keep them all entertained, even if it's only one particular girl that you've got your eye on.   This shows respect for everyone and paints you as a charismatic sorta guy.

Group busting takes brass balls naturally, but it's an important skill to have if the situation ever happens to pop up where the girl you would like to get to know is hidden inside a group of chattering friends and there's no other way to get at her.

In this case though, I didn't need to break the group.   She slipped away from her friends to visit the bathroom which was located off the kitchen -- and she went by herself (yes!…).   Like the sly little rat that I am, I maneuvered into the kitchen where I could watch the door and pretend to make myself busy goofing around at the counter like I was mixing up some drinks.   When she came out I immediately without thinking (don't give fear a chance…) stepped into her frame of view and gave her a big smile and a "hi" and introed myself.   I was extra cautious to make certain that I looked only into her eyes and did not even for a nanosecond glance at her perfectly protruding nips.   I did not want to seem like every other sloshed asshole in the place because I could sense from my careful pre-observations that she was getting burned-out from all the leering.   Only her pretty face existed for me! I even shook her hand… yeesh!   (This was before I knew about how to do the "handshake trick" that I talk about in my book, and I'm not sure if I almost fucked up at that point -- but I was able to recover fast with some kind of stupid joke that I would share with you but have since forgotten).

I asked her if she would like to help me cut up some lemons to brew another round of Long Island Ice Teas for the crowd.   She said yes, and we were soon making ourselves busy at the sink, and I got the sense that she welcomed being able to do something other than stand around and avoid all the guys staring at her.   Her name was Sharon and I was able to use the hook of the kitchen-work to steer the conversation about was sort of stuff she liked to do insofar as cooking and what not.   As often happens, once you put a girl at ease she will take over the conversation and remove the burden of you having to carry the whole thing yourself.  We got to chatting about all sorts of stuff as we mixed up a tray of about 20 drinks.   She liked to bake and actually went on about some of the recipes that her grandmother had taught her.   That's how comfortable we were becoming -- she had dropped her "hot chick" mask and there was a really sweet girl underneath.   You almost would've never guessed it from the way she was dressed that night in her braless T and hip-huggers (something like the Frankie-B's they wear today).

Now mind you… here we are having this cutesy little conversation about grandma's cherry pie recipe, while people around us in the crowded kitchen are laughing and shouting… fat drunken slobs are crushing empty beer cans against their foreheads like Bluto in Animal House, and dudes are toking Honolulu Gold fatties all around.   Yet at no time did I let my eyes wander from hers and ogle those gorgeous tits… though the temptation was enormous!   I knew this would be a huge blunder that would immediately plop me into the same horn-dog category as the rest of the jokers she'd been shooing away all night, and my goal was to remain different from them so as to intrigue her curiosity.

So in the midst of all this mind-altered mayhem, Sharon and I are gabbing away oblivious to it all as if we were in our own little isolation bubble -- and this is a very important point and something that I discuss extensively in my book… the fact that focus is flattering.   One of the greatest compliments you can ever pay to a woman is to give her your undivided attention.   You do this by drawing her into your world and simply refusing to be distracted by the events swirling around you.   She has to become the absolute center of your universe for at least those few moments… by superhuman effort if need be.   The effect this can have on a woman is a wonder to behold. Intimate connections between men and women are forged with this kind of special experience where the rest of the world can be made to disappear for awhile.   This bit of 'magic focus' might happen the first time you meet or deeper into the relationship -- it doesn't really matter.   But it should happen before you've had sex.

Speaking of which, I got her number and we dated a few more times before we finally made love.   She turned out to be a delightful and spunky girl, but somewhat reserved at first too.   On none of our dates did she wear anything coming close to that 'nipple-queen' outfit she'd been killing the guys with at the party.   The provocative look was way out of character for her and mainly due to peer pressure, as I'd suspected.

Hey, did you think that I nailed her on that first night?   Well you're wrong.   A seduction isn't a one night stand. ONS's are haphazard collisions between two people who usually have some emotional turmoil currently dominating their lives making them desperate for an easy distraction.   I tend to become addicted to a woman after finally bedding her - once around the park simply isn't enough for me.  The quality of sex I'm after requires a level of comfort that can only be supported by an authentic relationship.   Only is the seduction brought to its genuine completion when our souls as well as our bodies have become entangled in one another.

Believe it or not, one of the great regrets I have in my life is that I never married this girl.  I had three incredible years to decide to do so, but was caught up on a fools' mission to conquer the female world back then.   It would have been a good time to put a period on the end of that particular sentence in my life and develop a soulmate.   But, I guess even us great "masters of seduction" can fuck the duck when we fail to keep the larger picture clearly in focus.   Oh well.

Many guys struggle with confidence.  What do you think is the easiest way to start building it?

A man's confidence will improve as his sense of male status rises from the successes of his life in general -- both in regards to meeting women, and from other things such as career adaptations, financial improvements, great life adventures, even simple aging (like fine wine baby!).   Too much focus is placed on generating confidence swiftly and artificially.   Genuine confidence has to grow on it's own and at it's own rate and to it's own final size.   Not everyone gets an equal dose of it, just like we don't all grow to be 6 foot tall.   You can do things to help feed your confidence by patting yourself on the back once in a while for even the seemingly least significant victory, while refusing to beat the living hell out of yourself for every meaningless little screw up.  Things like that.  The deeper issues involved with these kind of self-defeating behaviors are complex and involve a sense of your "right" to experience pleasure and success without feeling guilty about it.

I do provide some simple NLP techniques in my book to help a brother get over the hump and get him moving in the face of having very little confidence (along with elevated amounts of fear) but this shouldn't be confused with the real thing which takes time to develop.   If mechanical tricks can at least get you off the dime, however, they have a genuine value in the seduction game.

What is one of your favorite ways to communicate seductively through words?

By using the Cool Observation / Warm Comment technique.

We all know the magical effect that a compliment can have on a girl, right?   But… only if the remark is 1) sincere, 2) unique to her in some way, and 3) coming from a guy that she likes a little bit (or at least is not repulsed by!).

It works like this… maybe the two of you are watching a scenic vista together at a park somewhere.   You turn to her and say, "I see you have a wonder in you that's really delightful.  Even simple things in life have meaning for you, don't they?   The feeling I'm having right now standing here with you is the kind of sensation I would love to just put in a bottle and save forever."   You think this is corny?   That it would never work?   Then turn it around and imagine if some girl said something like this to you.   Are you kiddin' me?   You'd be following her around like a lost puppy all day long!

The formula is simple: just make an observation about some aspect of her character or look or style that people might not normally appreciate, and then make a warm comment about how good it makes you feel.   Score extra points if you can phrase it in a poetic manner.   Baby, this works!

Before you approach a female that you are interested in, are there any signs that you look for?

The first, best and biggest is always extended eye contact, or at the very least, that sort of "wide eyed" surprised look.   This tells you she's seen something she likes (ah… that would be you!…)   Of course, that's if she sees you at all -- which often doesn't happen in the real world, I know.   In that case I just look for signs she might be in a sort of mellow or receptive mood… no crossed arms or tight lips, swaying to the music if there is any, chirping away with her friends, looking around and watching other people, maybe enjoying a drink… stuff like that.   If she's in a miserable mood, then you're faced with having to try and break through all the frowning and moping around before you can get anywhere, and man that's a lot of work and you always feel like an asshole for even bothering.  Only the hottest looking chicks are worth this kind of effort, (and many of these little brats don't deserve it).   Watch for the mellow mood instead, and stick with the easy plays.

In your opinion where is the best place to meet women?

Anywhere they aren't expecting it -- which means almost everywhere except for places like bars, nightclubs and sometimes coed gyms where their "bitch shields" are set to maximum power.   It's difficult to come off as genuine when the women are all so ready to shoot your ass down on a moment's notice.   Most anything a guy says to them is considered a line of bullshit -- there's no way to verbally sneak up and surprise them.   I found the only way to work the bar deal is to take the 'player' attitude to the point of absurdity by teasing them and coming on with a ridiculous amount of game.   Make a joke about it and get them laughing about the whole "pick-up" thing.   This can melt their shield a bit and sometimes get you a peek at the real girl inside so you know what you're dealing with.

Suddenly, she shoots you some nice eye contact and a sly smile and boom… baby's defenses are down!   Now you can work on establishing a connection and move forward with the seduction like you would in "real" life.

Do you have any other tips, techniques, moves, philosophies or advice would you like to give to the guys out there?

Only that you have to approach this game in a way that's customized to your own unique talents and physical appeal to women, which basically means learning to play with the hand you were dealt.   This means having to make a hardcore assessment of yourself that could be pretty painful.   No two guys will ever try to pick up a woman with the exact same pattern of words, attitudes or emotions in play.   If you're a guy who looks like Derek Jeter, then you can just show up at a bar and mumble out your name, rank and serial number and watch all the broads fight each other to see who will be the first one to tear off your pants.   If, however, you're 5'5" and resemble the nutty professor then the Jeter Method probably won't work for you.   You'll have to come up with a more studied approach that makes sense coming from a guy of your more "subtle" male signaling abilities.

Basically you will have to find a way to substitute competency for looks.  Yes, competency.

In other words, get good at doing something, and then arrange it so that you can show off your talent in front of women!   The ultimate example, of course, is music - absolutely nothing beats performing on stage.   No matter what genre of music you choose to excel in, you can be sure that some chick digs the guy up there playing it.   Beyond that you can choose just about anything that suits you… career, hobby, a sport, shooting pool, tending bar, giving a speech, running a business, flying a charter aircraft, whatever… if you can get good enough at it and arrange it so that you can show off being great at it once in a while in front of women, then you've cancelled out 80-90% of your physical shortcomings.   When you are competent at something and not afraid to demonstrate it, you are confident in a way that cannot be faked or simulated with positive thinking tricks.   And the women will take notice, they have to.   After all…

They simply can't turn away from an impressive male display -- nor the impressive man performing it.   A million years of evolution has assured this to be the case. This hardwiring (thank you Mother Nature!…) is every guy's ace in the hole!

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