Hi Mike

There is this restaurant that I frequent twice a week for coffee.  There is a waitress that really caught my eye.  Now I remembered what your book said about playing it cool.  Don't try to rush into anything.  So I took your advice further and noticed an article that she was wearing.  It was a nice bracelet.  I commented on it, and she seemed quite flattered and explained that she had just gotten back from Cuba and bought it there. 

The guy who was with me is my boss.  He has known me for several years and commented on how far I've come since he's known me.  He said I would never have started a conversation with a girl like that in the past!

Another time when we were in there, she came over to clear some tables and asked me what time I was finished with work.  No girl has ever done that before!  I told her 3:30.  Then I asked her what time she got off and she said around 2:00.  Now tell me something Mike, would that have been a good time to have taken it further and try for a date?  I didn't know what else to say.  I just kind of sat there feeling stupid.

Of course your book states to give her a little mystery.  So I didn't feel too bad about it.  Another time we were in there, I was paying her and we got into another conversation, she seemed very interested in talking to me.  I still didn't do anything though, I just let the conversation flow.  Well, I didn't see her for several weeks but then again, isn't that a good thing?  Give her some breathing room?

However, after those several weeks passed, I saw her again in the restaurant and something had changed.  I didn't seem to have an opportunity to talk with her, and when I did talk to her she didn't seem to want to keep the conversation going.  Like she was avoiding me.  I'm thinking, maybe I should have asked her out that first time I seemed to have had a chance?

Sam



Hi Sam,

Dammit you were going along great with this girl but then you failed to follow through... YOU FAILED TO ESCALATE!   Remember what I talked about in the book?  A seduction moves through stages... flirting, showing interest, trading some basic info to see how compatible you both are (common interests, etc.).  THEN you have to ask her out for a lunch or coffee date and begin to establish your romantic interest in her.  At each step along the way, one phase runs it's course and then you have to escalate to the next one... or the girl loses interest in you (because she thinks you're really not interested in her -- she thinks you're just fucking around with her head and gets pissed or is saddened, whatever) and she goes cold.  Been there, done that.

Other times however, you need to short circuit this entire process and skip ahead a few steps depending upon the signals that the girl sends your way.  Remember it's the women that do the real choosing in the mating game -- as a man you must learn to react swiftly when they do, or the seduction will run out of energy fast.  You have to stay light on your feet and alert for your opportunities to move.  If you over think all is lost.

This chance is gone now. NEXT TIME, don't give into your fear and just casually ask her out.  That should've been the next logical step in your ongoing exchanges with her.  The signals were all GO but your fear blocked you.  You might still be ashamed to make this transition and reveal your need for the affection of a woman, choosing to hide behind your aloofness instead.  There is a shame/fear issue here.  Read the book again about that and get John Bradshaw's book that I recommend, it will help you immensely. 

Hi Mike,

I have a pretty good career in the electronics /software field.  I'm not management level, however, I am not at the bottom either.  My question is when I deal with upper management or even the company president, how can I still be a high status male when I have to take orders?  Is this going to hurt my game?  I'm almost thinking I need to work my way into management.  What about if I am hanging out with my buddies.  What if we all want to be the high status male?  Someone has to give in.  How is this handled?

Gary



Hi Gary,

There's a only one way to effectively deal with other guys in terms of the High Status arena.  It's a two-step process.  First, you have to gain their respect in some way, and secondly, you have to set your own personal bounds and limits as to how much bullshit you'll take from them.  This of course outlines the entire struggle that all of us as men have to go through during the course of our lives.  It's end result forms the kind of Holy Grail of the male existence, you might even say.

Gaining respect means you have to show your competence around other men, your willingness to engage them one-on-one in a man-to-man way and not as a subservient, and to face down your fear whenever you feel that challenges to you are being made.  It's not easy, and you may even have to get into a fist fight over it some day, but that's the game as it's played out between men... AND the way in which women choose their men incidentally (from among the winners of this competition).  It's why "getting the scent of the HSM" on us is our ultimate goal in life!

Once you've established some degree of respect for yourself, you then have to draw a limit or line beyond which you will not be pushed.  I mean this in terms of how other men talk to you, to what degree you will allow them to make jokes or have fun at your expense, and so on.  Once again, you might have to get in someone's face in order to finally establish those boundaries, but it will be well worth it in the end because the respect that you will have gained FOR YOURSELF will begin to show through in the attitude... and that will carry over into your success with women.  Yes, that might mean pushing for that VP job someday.  High levels of accomplishment puts an attitude on you that's hard to fake, and the women can smell it.

Hi Mike,

I'm greatly enjoying your book.  I have studied a lot of seduction techniques over the years and your stuff about the high status male makes a lot of sense to me.

I'm wondering if you can answer a question.  I have a lot of tools such as palmistry, handwriting analysis, cold reading and magic tricks at my disposal.  However, I'm not exactly sure where I should incorporate these skills into the overall picture.  For example, I've had some experiences where doing handwriting analysis when first meeting a girl causes me to come off as an expert psychologist, but does not stir any attraction in the woman.  I'm also very good at magic, but I wonder if doing it at the very beginning would ruin my chances of making that great first impression by making me seem desperate to impress her.  Any ideas on when to do these things and how to frame them appropriately?

Allen



Hi Allen,

Hey those magic tricks and handwriting analysis are great skills to have for meeting women.  I did a bit of Handwriting Analysis myself for awhile, and it was always fun to watch them be amazed at my mind-reading "powers".  You can go two ways with this stuff.  Either hold off until you get to know her better and seal the deal by revealing a "mysterious" aspect of yourself (works best with the hippie-type chick or the wide-eyed & naive), or use it to get an early read on a girl and find out if she's a fucking psycho and therefore best to be avoided!  You can use magic tricks to be cool in a sort of James Bond way, but use only ONE trick on her early, and make sure it's designed to get a laugh somehow.  Then drop it.  It will instantly separate you from the other schmucks and get her all perked up about you.

If you're interested, there's a great book out there called "The Secrets to Making Love Happen" by Bart Baggett, which is a primer on HA and some NLP too (although you wouldn't know it from the title).  Search around for it on Amazon.com. The ISBN # is 1-882929-24-1.  He also has a site at myhandwriting.com I think.  Check it out.

My guy is a "nice guy" and I don't have much sexual chemistry towards him because of this.  I am looking for something that can turn this around.  I wish more than anything to feel a sexual pull towards him the way I've had about other men in my past.

Can this stuff in your book work for a couple?  Or is it just for the single guy?  Can this problem be turned around after the fact?  After a break in our relationship (1 month), we got together again and the chemistry was there!  But after one week it was gone again.  This happened twice.  He has no problem, it's me that doesn't feel the chemistry towards him.

Please help!!!

(some anonymous girl)


Hi there,

The reason you're not attracted to your nice guy boyfriend is because "nice" behavior is a powerful signal of LOW male status (I explain why in great detail in my book, but it has to do with the appearance of submissiveness, which is a female characteristic, not a male one).  As a woman, you have an unconscious instinct that turns you on sexually/romantically whenever you find yourself in the presence of a HIGH status male (or one that gives off the signals and attitudes of one) -- whereas you are left cold and without any romantic feelings whatsoever for an LSM.  You can't help it -- just like guys can't help being attracted to hot looking women while being turned off by big fat ones.  This attraction sensation is what you're describing as "chemistry" and is highly biological and beyond the limits of reason.  That's why it causes such conflict to your rational thinking mind. 

This is exactly what my book tries to address, as guys who exhibit this type of behavior are forever failing to ignite the passions of women such as yourself and therefore can't get laid, find a girlfriend, etc. 

The only problem (in your particular case) is that the guy usually has to recognize this problem on his own and become motivated to read a book such as mine and make the necessary changes in himself.  If he doesn't feel there's anything wrong with him, then it probably won't be possible to get him to sit down and read my book, even if you buy it for him as a gift.  You can lead a horse to water... you know what I mean?

Print out some pages from the website and show it to him.  See what he thinks.  Maybe it'll trigger a frank discussion that could be as helpful as having him read the book.

Hey Mike,

I have been talking to an old friend.  I haven't seen her in 2 years, but we stayed in touch via e-mail during that time.  I told her how much my marriage sucked, she told me about her current boyfriend, etc.  I realized that her "current" boyfriend kinda' sounded like me!... and then I realized she had a "thing" for me.  So I e-mailed to see what was going on with her, and she accepted me with open arms.

Well I haven't seen her lately, and she doesn't like to e-mail me much any more.  I was so proud of myself... catching the double meanings in her e-mails, etc.  I kinda' went a little nuts -- telling her that if this scumbag ex-boyfriend of hers is still bothering her, I would go punch him in the nose.  I'm getting bored with all this endless talking on the phone though, and she seems to be keeping me at arms length.  We only live about 25 minutes away from each other.  This is not a big deal -- I have just recently finished with my 2nd divorce.  What should I do?

Jerry



Hi Jerry,

Don Steele, from steelballs.com (a terrific site for seduction info) has a great name for e-mail.  He calls it eunuch mail.  Get it?

All these remote ways of interacting with women basically just suck because you cannot communicate with them in the most meaningful way that you need to AS A MAN, and that's NON-verbally.  Deep looks, touching, dreamy eye contact that sets her heart pacing.  Forget about this e-mailing bullshit and get together with her in person -- this is the only way that you can apply the stuff that I talk about in my book and create some kind of chemistry that you can ride into the bedroom. 

Otherwise you're just going to end up batting these e-mails back and forth until you completely piss each other off by saying some stupid shit that will get misinterpreted at some point.  I hate all this electronic chatting with women -- it never seems to pan out except in cases when people connect with common passions (like bird watching or something) and live happily ever after.

Hi Mike,

What do you recommend I do when a woman cancels a date?   I get the feeling this is a test of some sort, and that graciously accepting the cancellation is not the right answer.

Billy



Hi Billy,

Give her only one chance to cancel out on you -- it might be legitimate and for a good reason and you don't want to come off as easily hurt or selfish & pissed (yet!), that's childish.  Accept it graciously in good humor, but set up another date ASAP.

However... if she pulls it a second time (especially if you haven't gotten intimate with her yet) then she's probably trying to blow you off, but doesn't have the guts to just come out and tell you to get lost.  I hate chicks like this, they really suck.  They're the type who like to use the silent treatment and all that other passive-aggressive bullshit to manipulate guys in their relationships.  Consider yourself lucky if you can make it through a normal human lifetime avoiding these losers. 

Mike...

I started hanging out with this girl Kendra a few weeks ago, and we've been getting it on ever since.  Here's the tricky part though.  She is going to be expecting me to take her to the homecoming dance this Friday, but there's this other little honey -- "B" -- that I've messed around with before, and I could take her instead.  She lives in a different city, but she comes down every once in a while. 

Kendra is pretty and I enjoy fucking her quite a bit.  This other girl is much hotter and she has the sweetest ass... and I just wanna fuck the shit outta her -- you know what I'm saying man?  I know that if I take B, Kendra is gonna be pissed, but I wouldn't be that crushed if she quit fucking me.  I really wanna bang this other girl.  What do you think about this little issue?

Marc



Hey Marc,

I would tap the new booty and piss Kendra off.  This will probably make her double her effort to then "win" you back afterwards.  Chicks dig a player even though they swear that they hate them.  They also get catty and competitive and want to steal the hottest guys from each other (leaving the poor old LSM's standing on the sidelines beating their meat wondering why there are no women for them).  What I'm saying is that you can get this new girl and most likely have the old one back afterwards anyway (after some yelling and screaming and tears, etc.)

You're a young guy -- you've got to keep sowing your oats at this time in your life, so don't worry about sticking around with any one girl for too long.  You'll learn all about that particular form of "nagging-sexless-morphed-into-my-overweight-mother" torture when you reach middle age. 

Hey Mike,

I purchased your e-book and am in the process of reading it.  So far so good -- maybe too good... sometimes it feels as if you're speaking to me directly.  How'd you know... lol?

Anyway, I am the computer nerd that you talk about.  Actually, I've been addicted to video games/computers for ten years now...and basically its ruined my social life.  I'm socially retarded and totally scared of women.  The more attractive a woman is the more nervous I get and the more I stutter making her feel uncomfortable in turn.  That's why I've decided to change because you're right... the game of seduction is the most important game that we will ever be called up to play!  It involves becoming a better man and succeeding in other areas of life as well... which is where my motivation to change comes from.

I don't know though... I am definitely an LSM who's way behind my male counterparts.  Sometimes I think I am so far behind that I don't even think I can ever become an HSM.  The attitude adjustment that you're asking me to attempt can't be done overnight, can it?  How long would it take?  I imagine this would take months if not years... depending on how fucked up you are... right?

Marty



Hi Marty,

Thanks for writing.  Ahhh yes... a computer nerd with no social life, never had one of those guys buy my book before... ;-)

Changing your primary thinking patterns is a lot like turning around a supertanker in the middle of the Atlantic... we're talking about a very slow 5 mile turning radius.  Takes time.  The good thing is that you don't have to achieve some kind of "Master" status at this stuff in order to make serious progress.  Most guys can move up the HSM scale by maybe 20% and see some amazing changes in their life -- I suppose it all depends on how far down you start.  And most ordinary guys that do okay with women are hardly pick-up masters, right? 

Just study and work the techniques until you get your first breakthrough, and then build on the confidence you gain and move on from there.  It happens for you whenever the hell it happens... don't watch the clock, just focus on doing some little thing more today than you did yesterday.  You'll get there.  Just try to stay out of the fucking dungeon for a while, and join us here in the land of the living every now and then, okay?

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