Hey Mike,

Let me tell you a little about myself.  I am 39 yrs. old, college educated, reasonably attractive, and I own my own business.  I go to the gym 2-3 times a week (usually in the mornings) and after that work many long hours (sigh).  My problem has been the confidence factor, but more so, WHERE to find quality women. I don't enjoy the bar scene. So my predicament is...

1) Where are the best places to meet eligible "quality women?"
2) What age bracket should I shoot for?

Any constructive input would be greatly appreciated...

Andy


Hi Andy,

Quality women are everywhere.  My system isn't about so much about finding quality women, it's about learning how to act in a manner that makes them find YOU.  By understanding how to send out the non-verbal signals of the dominant male, you will be broadcasting your availability and desirability to all the best women out there.  When an interested girl likes what she sees, she will signal you back (non-verbally also) to approach her.

You see, the secret to not getting rejected is to go ONLY where beckoned!  The mistake a lot of guys make is in thinking that they have to "hunt down" women.  That's ok if you have a thick skin and can emotionally handle all the rejection... But that's not an effective way to meet women.  It's a desperate way I think -- and unskilled.  After all, what skill does it take to be a boor?  (Other than brass balls I suppose.)  You have to be patient and learn to "fish" for them instead.

As for the age range, again... let them decide their own age range for you.  You only react aggressively to any woman only after she signals you first.  And then only to those whom interest you.  Get it?

Mike, what do I do when a girl starts asking about my past relationships? 

I have thought long and hard about this and can come up with no good answers.  It's easy for a woman to "sense" whether you've had a fair amount of relationship experience, especially when she noticed that you don't have a lot of stories to tell in that arena.  When a woman senses you are inexperienced in relationships, you are automatically going to be marked as a low status male and rejection is right around the corner, right?...

Should I lie and make up stories about fictitious girlfriends?  Because she can probably sense that it's made up.  I really don't know what to do here.  Your advice is appreciated!

Gary


Hi Gary,

When it comes to dealing with the issue of past relationships, the best thing to do is hint that you've had a few experiences in your past, but resist offering any details.  Move off the subject like it's something you'd prefer not to talk about.  You think it's a sign of low male status to seem inexperienced?  Well it's an even bigger sign to lie outrageously about things you've never done!... and she will see right through this sham.

On the other hand, the HSM is discreet and doesn't need to show off that he can "get girls"... that's because he's really doing it! 

Did you ever notice how a guy talks BEFORE he's had sex with a girl that he's trying to score with, as opposed to AFTER he's dating her and actually having sex with her for real?  Before he's ever really getting any, he's a loud mouth bragging all over the place about how he's going to fuck her every which way imaginable.  But afterwards, he clams up.. and you can't get any details out of him.  What's going on?  Guys become discreet because their reality is suddenly satisfying enough for them, there is no longer any need to boost their egos by making shit up. 

The guys who talk, DON'T (get any) and the guys who don't talk, DO! 

Since you would like her to believe that you're experienced, then ACT like a guy who is... be reluctant to talk about it.  Say, "I've had a few relationships before, but we grew apart and moved on.  We parted on good terms."  And that's all you want to say about it.  Have a few names ready to drop in case she prys hard, otherwise... next topic.  This will score triple points with her: 1) It shows that you have some experience (like any HSM would), 2) It suggests that you're not a violent type, or especially the type of guy who holds grudges (nasty LSM behavior) since you always end your relationships on good terms, and 3) it demonstrates that you are discreet when it comes to talking about past lovers.  This is comforting for her to know because someday SHE might be another one of your ex's!... and she won't have to worry about you blabbing everything you know about her to the world, especially in a vindictive manner.  This makes it more safe for her to open up to you, as a bonus.

These things are all UNspoken directly of course, but are conveyed by your attitude about this subject. 

Hi, I've been studying seduction for 1 year and am still a 22 year old virgin...I have more balls to approach than most guys and my game is getting better...

However, I have lots of self limiting beliefs such as myself being short (5 feet 4) and being an Asian guy.  I have no accent but I always feel like girls are not attracted to me because of my looks.  Obviously, I'm probably wrong because I need to convey more alpha status...

I've only read 3 chapters so far...but wanted to ask you how long it took you to become really good at this.  I've talked to a lot of guys and they said about three years.  What were your goals when you were starting just like me?

Thanks
Gary



Hi Gary,

Like anything else it takes some practice to get good at any new skill.  It took me about a year to start making breakthroughs with women once I slowly started to figure out what it was they were really after (the HSM attitude).  I'm only 5 foot 6 myself, so I know that it's easy to get down on yourself because it seems like women tend to ignore short guys.  That's why it's more important than ever to adopt the correct HSM attitude, because we need to compensate for lacking that natural attractor for most women, i.e., height.

My goal was to just make a little bit more progress each time I worked a seduction... display a bit more confidence, more awareness of how women were responding to me, and so forth.  You can't expect to roll out the "new you" one day and suddenly start scoring with all the best girls left and right no matter what books you read or who you study under.  You have to work up to that one small victory, and then just keep building on it.  Next time, you'll be even better -- based upon what you learned. 

If you can speak clearly there is no real barrier to seducing women.  Your voice is the "power tool" of seduction because it's all about communication, and you seem okay in that department.  Looks are not as important to women as they are to men -- women are interested in the dominant male, no matter what physical package he comes in.  Savor all your small moments of progress -- even blow them out of proportion in your own mind if you have to, in order to keep from getting discouraged.

Hey Mike,

I have a question for ya. I've read the first few chapters and taken the test in Appendix C. ( Scored a 155).

I consider myself a good looking guy but I am somewhat shy when it comes to women.  I'm recently divorced ( H.S Sweetheart) and back in the game.  My question is about a situation that I'm in.  There is a girl that works in a, lets say clinic, that I go to every morning.  I'm guessing that most likely she is not allowed to date clients of this clinic.  I am a client.  I've been going for almost a year now and we always had extended eye contact.

Recently I have learned she had asked someone if I was married or not.  When I heard this I was very pleased.  I always was interested in her but never acted on it.  Since I found out that she was actually thinking about my marital status, I have been making small talk with her.  You know... How are you??  How was your holiday?? etc.  I get the feeling she likes the fact that I am initiating conversation.

My question to you is... because I'm not sure if it's safe for her to go out with a client, I don't know if I can approach her while other employees are around.  But I definitely feel like she is interested in me.  What should be my next step???  Should I ask her if she was inquiring about my marital status?  If I do that and she admits to it then half the battle is won.  Right??  Or should I not bring that up.  Basically, I need an excuse to start a deeper conversation then "how are you".

What would you have me do?  Love the book so far!!!

Raymond


Hi Ray,

Thanks for your letter, I'm glad you're enjoying the book.  A 155 score means your pretty well off around women as a guy who's been married awhile would tend to be, you're just being re-introduced to the discomfort of facing the threat of rejection that stops a lot of us cold.

This situation is tricky. The good eye contact and rapport are signals that she would be receptive to going out with you, and that should give you the courage to ask her out since your odds of being rejected are low... but, this deal with the client-rules thing is an x-factor that's hard to gauge.  First, DO NOT mention anything about your having found out that she was curious about you, if you're married, etc.  This will make you seem like a snoop and a sneak.  Not good.  You want her to be impressed by your courageousness in directly asking her out, so don't tip her off that you've got this little "pre-gossip" edge to bolster you.

You only get one shot at this sort of thing and you can't wait too long, or the passion will fade. (You'll read about the need to escalate at the proper moment later in the book.)  After she flirts and sends signals, you only have so much time to respond or she'll think your either afraid or uninterested, and she'll shut you out of her mind.

 Then you WILL get rejected if you finally do take action!

You best bet is to try to corner her somehow so that you can ask her out without anyone else around hearing you, employees or otherwise.  I don't know the layout of the situation you meet her in, so I can't tell you for sure how to do this.  You've got to be a little bit like James Bond and think on the fly and figure out how to make things work out for you!  My intuition is that IF you can rig it so that she's not in danger of having anyone who shouldn't know about her dating clients see what's happening, she'll say yes to a dinner date or an offer to meet for coffee or drinks.  Remember... the secretiveness can also be a turn on for her!

Just don't ask her flat out with her boss standing right over her shoulder listening so that she's forced to reject you!  This will for an embarrassing rejection that's sure to shoot holes in your confidence and make you retreat further back from an active social life.

Mike...

I’m a personal trainer at a gym, and every once in a while a cute young girl comes my why that I get to train.  And right now I’m fortunate enough to be working with one -- a "9" in gym clothes, and a great personality (rare find).  I’ve worked with her once so far and things went well, made good eye contact, make her laugh a few times, and the great thing about being her trainer is that I’m in control and appear to be a knowledgeable professional, which is great for the HSM thing.

So my dilemma is this: I’d love to go out with her, and in most situations, like a party or even school, I’d definitely would ask her out.  But being that we have a Professional-to-Client type of relationship, I want to know how to do it in an appropriate way, because a lot is on the line here.  Last time I was in a situation a like this I kind of tried to be a professional, part friend, part lets go on a date, and as you could imagine it didn’t go well, because I tried to be a little of everything so I became a lot of nothing. 

Wil


Hi Wil,

I'm not a big fan of asking a girl out after you've been sort of lurking around the whole question for awhile.  What I mean is that you have to strike soon after you meet in order to spark up some chemistry with her.  This whole notion of using some kind of trick to turn a girl who thinks of you as a friend or acquaintance into a lover is bullshit.  This one might be different though, because being reserved with her is the correct way to act when you're thrown together professionally at first.  People don't always feel free to act that way they might like under these rules. So...

Unless this girl is sending you flirting signals like crazy, I don't know if there's much of a chance here.  She'll either turn you down or the date will be an uninspired dud like the one you described.

Having said that, she might also respond favorably to your HSM persona because of the trainer/student relationship.  You're the one getting the vibe so only you can tell for sure, and you'll have to use your best judgment.  You sound like a pretty confident guy to start with, so your approach should be powerful (but understated, I hope).  Be careful about doing anything that might seem like sexual harassment, which is a danger in any kind of interaction that's supposed to keep professional barriers between you.  Just make sure you're not mistaking her shyness for aloofness and disinterest, she might make trouble... especially if she's a feminist with a bug up her ass about guys coming on to her.  (Don't get me started on this kind of chick -- they are a scourge on humanity!)

Just ask her out for coffee, maybe even later that day if you can swing it.  You have to break that professional wall to get her thinking about you differently.  Try not to make it seem like you do this kind of thing every day though, because one of the suspicions women have about a guy with a job like yours is that you went into it mostly to become a male slut -- know what I mean?  Keep it casual, even seem a little nervous... that will disarm her.  This sounds like a 50/50 shot you have here.

I don't know if this was very helpful, but let me know what happens either way.  Good luck and thanks for writing.

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