Mike,

I ordered the book a few months ago, but I'm still having a problem with an area.  How would a dominant male respond to a situation where another person keeps picking with them?  Like ordering me to do some work faster and faster, and then other people join in on the fun.  I get angry, but they keep picking on me even more.  Also, what is the dominant male display that attracts women?  I guess I'm just having trouble summarizing the book into a general statement of dominant behavior.  Please help this recovering "nice guy".  Thank you so much for your book -- it has changed my life for the better.

-- Bill


Hi Bill,

Looks like you've got a situation going on that will take some courage and fortitude to correct, but you'll be transformed by the effort and ultimately glad you did it, trust me. 

For a girl to become a woman, she has to pass through the pain of childbirth.  A man has a similar passage to his life's station, though it's not always as obvious.  It seems to me that the people around you have flagged you as an LSM and are having fun with it.  This is how they keep themselves propped up at whatever level they happen to be at -- by stepping on guys like you.  You're going to have to stand up and challenge these pricks and force them to change how they regard you.  I know it's not easy and it can be frightening, but this is the pain that men have to suffer sometimes in order to become men who are respected... and not just by other men, but ultimately by women too.

The thing I'm going to recommend is that you get some physical fighting skills, first.  Find a martial arts place that has self-defense classes.  You don't need to go for any belts or anything radical, just get some basic training.  This will improve your confidence.  Don't tell anyone what you are doing, this is going to be your little surprise.  When you feel you're ready, get in the face of the next prick who tries to put you down and tell him to fuck off.  Hold solid eye contact.  He'll be stunned because he's used to you folding and scurrying back to your lower position on the male status ladder without question (where he's come to feel that you belong).  But now you're going to make his life uncomfortable by challenging him... you want HIS spot! 

Watch the fucker sweat... he didn't expect this.  See how far he wants to take it.  Don't fold, make HIM back down.  If you can do all of this in front of others (who think the same of you) all the better.  Watch how, after the situation is over, they all shut the fuck up -- hell... most of them won't even look you in the eye any more.  This is an act of submission on their part.  You're going to disrupt a lot of forgone conclusions about yourself and get people thinking some uncomfortable thoughts... and that's the real FUN part of it!  Fucking with their heads.  Many times, you don't have to even get physical... male posturing is often just that -- a test of wills.  Who backs down first? (Hint: the guy who senses that he's going to be the one to lose, that's who).

And don't give a shit about losing this job or anything else either, if you have to break some cocksucker's nose (even if its your boss)... you can always find honest work somewhere.  Your done with that job and those group of people anyway.  Your honor and self-respect are the most important things to worry about right now.  You'll achieve great things in life from that springboard.  As a lifelong LSM, however, you'll end up mopping floors for minimum wage and getting married to the first fat girl who actually seems to like you. (Know of any miserable bastards like this?)

You have now moved off the Male Status basement floor and are beginning your climb up the ladder of social status.  I had to do this when I was in high school my freshman year.  I was just a skinny little guy... just the type these bigger pricks like to pick on.  ONE TIME I had to stand up for myself.  One time.  After that, no one ever bothered me for the remaining 4 years (and I didn't know how to fight, and actually got my ass kicked!  I should've got some martial arts training first...)  But that didn't matter, bruises heal.  I was respected for my courage.  This is how men have to settle out their positions in life.  After fisticuffs, will come workplace and financial status battles later on in your life -- different but all "the same" really.  Who's gonna be on top?

You want the dominant male behavior patterns summed up in one word?  How about confidence -- in your abilities, in your self-respect, in your place on the social status ladder.  And you can't fabricate confidence by sitting in your room alone chanting affirmations at a blank wall.  It can't be faked or hypnotized into yourself.  It comes from the real actions you are willing to take in the real world.  When you hit your stride and get to know this feeling, it acts as an invisible lure to women everywhere -- and it works without you even knowing it. 

So buck up, get your training and steel yourself to experience some pain and discomfort.  The Boy takes his fear with him into the cocoon.  He comes out the other side a Man.  Stay in touch and let me know of your progress, I'm here to help.

Hello Mike,

Here are a few questions for you that I have been contemplating about my social life:

1. I'm recently divorced.  When a woman asks me why my marriage failed, what is a good answer?  My answer is that my wife and I simply grew apart and we needed to find new partners that were more compatible with our interests and life goals.  That's the truth, but is that a good answer?

2. What do I say if she asks if I am dating other women?  How do I nicely say yes, I am?  Will that be a turn-off to her that I am dating other women, or will that entice her to be more interested and enter her female competition mode?

Paul


Hi Paul,

Here's what I think:

1) This is a good answer, just don't bring it up at all unless she does, and then don't dwell on it. Change the subject and move on.  Bitching about ex's is a major turnoff for both sexes.

2) DO let her know that you're dating around.  This makes you seem valuable (people only want what they can't have).  Just don't brag or seem too proud of it.  Slip it into the conversation sideways... be vague about the whole thing and coy.  But make sure she doesn't suspect that you're married ( ! ) and trying to cover it up.  Split the difference between evasiveness and boasting.

Your best move is to AVOID talking about this sort of shit at all if you can, or just briefly breeze over it if you must.  Stay focused on the present activity you're doing with her, and don't get into mutual analysis of each other's dating history.  What's the point?  It's all water under the bridge anyway.

Hey Mike,

I've been loving your book, it's really hit home on several things. I can relate to much of it and it has been invaluable. 

First a little background.  I met this girl out one night and we ended up back at my place. That was February. I called her a couple of days later, then didn't run into her until the next week on campus.  She said she had enjoyed being with me, and still had my number. (Obviously I had not been actively pursuing her, calling all the time, etc.) 

Long story short, she called me that Sunday night and we hooked up again.  All good.  So she left for spring break and will be back soon.  She did call out of the blue this past week from home just to say "hi" and said that we should get together when she gets back.  Things seem to be going great so far, but I want to stay ahead of the game on this.  I can see myself wanting to revert back to some "nice guy" ways, but I know that is probably the wrong thing to do. 

Here's my question -- If and when this thing develops into a relationship, what do women want and/or what do they need once they decide they want to have a relationship with you?

Barry


Hi Barry,

Thanks for your kind words about the book, I'm glad that it's been helpful to you.

As for your situation... it seems like you're moving along pretty good on this thing. Two phases exist at the start of relationships -- pivotal to your chances -- that you should keep in mind.  You have to play them sort of 'bad cop - good cop'.  First you're the "bad" cop (which is enticing), then your the "good" cop AFTER you reach phase 2, in order to seal the deal.

Phase One is pre-'first sex'.  The balance of power shifts from girl to guy when the first episode of sex occurs.  In the beginning, (the pre-sex part of dating) the woman holds all of the power.  Either you perform the way she wants (dominant male) or you're rejected.  The guy basically is walking a fine line between trying to keep her interested and trying NOT to piss her off or bore her so that he can get into her pants.  Problem is that she knows this all too well, AND IS TESTING THE HELL OUT OF YOU to make her decision as to whether or not to give it up to you.  That's because she understands that once she does, the balance of power in the relationship shifts over to the guy, and stays there pretty much for good (until we marry them, then all bets are off... ;-)

You job here is to make sure that you don't get too "pally wally" with her and end up killing the budding passion... and end up in the "friends" zone.  If this happens you're dead... and you'll get the "I think you're a great guy, but we should just be friends..." brush off.  Make sure that you keep some edge and mystery about yourself, and don't get too self-introspective -- as this puts you in a bad light by revealing too many of your flaws, thus killing all the mystery.  Save all that for Phase 2 when the idea is to BOND her to you as a loyal partner and lover for good.

Phase Two is post-sex.  She has felt enough trust in your character to hand over the power in the relationship by having sex with you.  She's betting that you don't cut and run, or suddenly undergo a change in that character.  You now have the power to disappoint her and break her heart.  If you really like her and want to lay the groundwork for a healthy and fun relationship, study the section in the book about meeting her Four Primary Emotional Needs, beginning on page 204.  If you can be this kind of guy for her, your bond of love (and increasingly better sex) will grow as she comes to see you as possibly the best guy she'll ever find.  Then you can steer her towards fulfill YOUR 4 primary emotional needs, and bingo... well, it doesn't get any better than this.  The near-perfect relationship.  Relationships that start this way have a lot of staying power.

The tough part, and the part that only YOU can decide, is IF this is the girl that you want to go down this road with in the first place.

Hello Mike,

I'd like to ask your advice on how to deal with the embarrassment of when you ask a woman for her phone number and she says no, then you see her again and there's an unpleasant tension that wasn't there before.

Thanks in advance
Jake


Hi Jake,

There's only one good way to handle this kind of softball rejection and that's to roll right over it like it never happened.  Act NO differently towards her than you did before.  Remember, an HSM never apologizes for his desires as a man.  Act friendly and happy and normal.  It's no big deal.  You ask women out all the time... (this is the attitude you want to project)... so what?  Sometimes you can't even recall which ones you asked or not!

The worse thing that you can do is go into a pout... this is classic LSM behavior that will only convince her that she made the right decision to turn you down in the first place.  If you go the HSM route instead, it won't be long before she begins to think just the opposite -- that maybe she made a mistake!  Then she'll start flirting with you again.  Accept her "penance" with good humor and consider giving her a second chance if she "begs" for it with more intense flirting and body language than usual.

Listen... a rejection, if played properly, actually provides you with the perfect opportunity to separate yourself from the typical hang-dog shmucks that women are used to blowing off, by reacting in a way that demonstrates that you are an HSM instead.  Lo & behold... NOW they're interested!

Hi Mike,

I am primarily interested in finding one woman with whom I can have a really good relationship.  I am learning this stuff so that I can have a vast choice and not be like most of my friends that took the first woman that would be with them (they all seem so unhappy).

First some background: I have been in a bad rut since I went through a breakup about 5 years ago.  I needed a kick-start to get back into the game.  I am older now 42 and my self esteem was shot.  First I quit smoking, took up Karate, lost 30 pounds and got a good haircut.  Confidence went up but still no real luck.  Then I found "THE BOOKS" I combined some Double Your Dating System (book) and Seduction Science System and Speed Seduction stuff all together and now I am getting dates - as many as I want. 

(Side Note: By the way, your stuff is the best and your "High Status Male" concept changes everything for me - it is incredible.  Scored 200 on the test but my failures were 2s and they were things that were destroying everything - thanks for showing me the truth.)

Back to my point... Anyway I still make mistakes but thats okay, I am learning.  Thing is, all these women that go out with me are interested (even when I screw up sometimes) BUT I am not always so interested in them, and that's my problem. I want to date them, have fun and be honest with them but I do not want to hurt anyone.  So, the problem is I just don't know how to end things when I want to - especially if I sleep with them.

I was never really afraid of rejection -- it doesn't phase me, but I think that this fear of how to reject them is just as toxic.  I find myself discussing "exit clauses" (figuratively speaking) on the first date quite often.  I can't turn them all into friends either - I just don't have that much time.  You know how it is - once you sleep with them leaving is impossible.  So help me out with some advice please if you can and most sincerely thanks very much for the great book.

Thanks,

Sal 


Hi Sal,

It sounds like you have a great deal of empathy for the feelings of women, which is great to see, but it's also unusual.  A lot of guys are just focused on getting their own needs taken care of, so lots of women will be smitten by this endearing character trait.  This red flags you a potential heartbreaker.  I can see your problem. 

DO NOT however, let your concern about the emotional pain that you may have to cause in the future mess up the way that you operate with women, or keep you from taking the steps you must take in order to get what you want from them.  BOTH parties, man and woman, take an *equal* risk in the love and romance game -- and if the women want to play, then they have to be willing to take a shot in the heart now and then just like the guys do.  Otherwise stay off the field of combat!

It is not YOUR job to insure that a woman will not experience any trauma from a romantic encounter with you.  As long as you remain completely honest about your intentions along the way and are not being deliberately devious, you have nothing to apologize about.  If you're being dishonest and manipulative just to get your jollies, well that's a different story... but that doesn't sound like you, so it's really not an issue in your case.

If you're up front about everything and make no promises that you know you ultimately won't be able to keep, then you have nothing to feel ashamed about if things ultimately finish on a sour note.  That's the risk SHE takes.  And don't let her "guilt" you for it... that's HER being manipulative and it's totally unfair.

People have to be adults about failed relationships -- pick up the pieces, deal with the bruised emotions and move on.  You and me didn't make up the rules for this game -- we just do our best to play it fair.  And that's all anyone can ask for.

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