Seven Essential Dating Tips For Men

by Mike Pilinski

Author, Without Embarrassment and
She's Yours For The Taking

If you're a single guy still searching for your dream girl, then I'm sure you've absorbed lots of advice on how best to go about meeting and dating her by now.   A lot of this sage advice is also pretty much "common sensical" as you've undoubtedly discovered by now.   Therefore, assuming you know enough not to show up on a first date looking like you just combed your hair with an M-80 or wearing cowboy boots and shorts, maybe a few of the following ideas can give you just enough of an edge to make the difference between Date #2 with an exciting little fox, and a date with ol' Rosie Palm instead:

1) How NOT to Act like a Fake on a First Date

A woman often makes a far more profound emotional investment into a relationship than a man does.   So for her, TRUST is an immensely important issue.   Dating is not just a convenient way to get her rocks off, rather it's a case study of the male psyche.   Can she trust you to be a good future father, for instance?   Don't laugh -- unless she's middle-aged and well beyond the having kids phase of her life, this "mating calculus" is ALWAYS running somewhere in the back of a woman's mind.

Therefore, acting like a phony with an obviously fake 'come-on' personality only demonstrates how easily you are willing to embrace deception in order to get something you want -- thus undermining your "trust quotient".

To any woman other than the sad exception of the chick who's looking for another loser for her next AA reclamation project (maybe 10% to 15% of the female population), you are TOTAL POISON... a potential cheater and heartbreaker just waiting for his next victim to arrive.   She may dump you right away, OR depending on the depth of her general bitterness towards men, keep you around to engage in a little recreational torture if she's got a vendetta to settle with a guy like you.

Beware!

2) Create New Memories Instead of Swapping Them

Here's the very best dating advice I can ever give anyone: in order to make any date memorable and fun, spend 90% of your activities in the present moment.

It's very easy to get caught up in the deadly "talking trap" on a date -- where the two of you sit around and get lost in deeper and deeper conversation.   These chatting dates can slip out of control and become subtle passion-killers -- especially if you're not careful to keep the big picture in focus.   Before you know it you're spilling your guts out about the nasty abuse experienced at the hands Father Hamhands from your altar boy days, or waxing poetic about your bleeding hemorrhoids and how they love to swell up in the springtime.   Yeesh!

For a seduction to go off like a thing of beauty, you must reveal yourself slowly -- bit-by-bit -- as you gradually come to know her.   Think of dating as an emotional veil dance... a striptease -- the point of which is to make her anticipate when the next Veil of Male Mystery will come off!   This is the kind of thing she's been dreaming about all her life.   Why? Because it makes everything that's to follow (including the sex) all that much more delicious for her!

So always try to stay active on a date (it doesn't have to be an extreme sport-fest or anything, even something like visiting a flea market will do...) so that you are BUILDING a memory with her instead of SHARING one.   Focus on having experiences with her that the two of you can reminisce about some day in the future -- instead of spending time caught up in a lot of drawn-out amateur psychotherapy sessions in a bar somewhere.   Conversation is very important in any new relationship, and is the pathway to her eventual sexual surrender, but you must provide her with a reason to WANT to know so much about you before opening up your soul.

Never forget the importance of your veil dance!

3) Don't be a Bore

A boring person is anti-charismatic -- which is to say that, instead of making people feel good about themselves by acting interested in them, the boring person makes us want to run away screaming from the agony of having to listen to another second of his self-absorbed bullshit!

The point of any early conversational exchanges that you have with a woman (beyond simple flirting of course, which has a different purpose) should always be focused on drawing HER interests out rather than dwelling upon your own stuff (but don't come across like a ruthless Nazi interrogator either... go easy on the breathless questioning!)

Share a little bit of course -- but keep YOUR interests lost in the background.   Her response to a few casual queries about her life or current dreams holds clues to your LifeLine (which I talk about in Without Embarrassment).   Cling to it tightly and work on expanding its scope.   Submerge your own ego for the first few dates.   Don't worry, when you finally hook her she'll begin questioning you intently... maybe TOO intently!   But that probably won't happen until after you've had sex with her.   (Then get ready for the onslaught!)

4) Forget about Trying to Act "Like Yourself"

The standard dating advice that you hear to "be yourself" or "just act like yourself" (whatever the hell that means) is pure horseshit.   Romance is a world of fantasy and dreams, and especially so for women.   You need to learn how to strike a balance between coming on like a phony-baloney and seeming TOO safe and friendly.   Seduction is a delicate bubble that can be burst with increasingly less effort as it ripens.   A first date is NOT the place to remain in the role of your everyday average old sort of guy... that's spells B-O-R-I-N-G.   A spark must be present to ignite the fires of desire in that deep primal portion of her brain!

When you think about it, it should be EASY for any guy to get juiced up for a date... dating some new chick for the very first time is not something that happens every day in your life.   Face it, ordinary life sucks for the most part... romance can be a welcome escape from the 9 to 5 daily drudgery of work and all the other aggravations that torture us.   So treat this rare event for what it is... something unique, unrepeatable and potentially unforgettable.   And even if she seems too cool to care, trust me... her hopeful romance motor is humming in high gear as well!

5) Five Minutes of Nerves is Okay, then Calm Down

After some initial awkwardness due to understandable jitters, you should be able to calm down and hit your stride.   If you have a real problem controlling automatic body reactions to nervousness (bad sweating, stuttering, facial twitching, etc.) my best advice is to get a book on yoga and practice it WITH AN OPEN MIND.   You don't have to go nuts and join the Green Party or anything, but DO try some of the deep breathing and relaxation techniques.   They really work and can give you the self-control edge you might need.   This will project through in your attitude as a cool confidence that is the unmistakable sign of a High Status Male!

Learn to always keep your movements around women graceful and deliberate, almost like a snake charmer.   Modulate your voice in a throaty style (lowered volume) and keep the tone of your words sounding almost a little bit "conspiratorial" (without going overboard and making a fool of yourself, of course).   The point is that a squeaky voice sounds fearful and adolescent, so strive to keep your voice projection strong and in check.   (Rent a movie called Body Heat (from 1984 I think) and study the vocal style of the lead character Ned as portrayed by actor William Hurt.   His entire manner is just perfect for seduction and absolutely drips with an edge of male mystery.   Plus, this movie is an awesome murder mystery that you'll thoroughly enjoy as well.)

6) Obsession is the Hallmark of the Weak Male

Dominant males will show an interest in any attractive woman they encounter because they are highly sexually driven.   But -- because they have many options with females open to them -- they do NOT act obsessive about any particular woman.   So don't be obsessed with her... just be interested.   Proclaiming ridiculously inappropriate nonsense like "...I love you" or "You're the girl I've been searching for my whole life..." on a first or second date is the frightening talk of the potential stalker.

So chill out and behave like you've been down this dating and mating road a few times already.

7) No Matter What Happens... Assume that She Likes
    You, and Learn How to Believe It

I'm not kidding here... this is an essential Jedi mind trick that you MUST somehow learn to play on yourself.   Simply ASSUME that any woman you're working will always like you -- and do whatever the hell it takes to sell this idea to your unconscious mind!

Women can become mesmerized by men who seem to be captivated by them, but this kind of vibe can only shine through your body language if it's GENUINE -- and for that to happen, you have to believe that she will respond favorably to you... no matter what.

Remember... ATTITUDE + UNCONSCIOUS BELIEFS = THE SUBJECTIVE TRUTH.   Your attitude is always a naked expression of your unconscious beliefs about yourself.   Therefore, it is interpreted by others as revealing the absolute truth about YOU... whether you like it or not.   So learn to control the self-image that you project by pushing all crappy beliefs about yourself out of your brain.

And before long you'll soon have your pick of all the best looking women in your world!

Mike Pilinski is the author of 2 great (and by now even somewhat classic) e-books in the Men's Dating Market... his highly-acclaimed original, "Without Embarrassment: The Social Coward's Totally Fearless Seduction System" and "She's Yours For The Taking: A Man's Guide to the Seduction and Sexual Enchantment of Women".  Each of these 250+ page books, newly upgraded and revised for 2009, are a masterful education for all guys in the fine art of meeting, dating and seducing women.

You'll love Mike's down-to-earth, humorous, no-punches-pulled-style and his entertaining delivery.   You'll laugh, pound the wall and LEARN all at the same time.  But most of all you'll experience an enlightening personal journey into the light of social freedom that you won't soon forget.  This unusual "re-mindsetting" will have you making up for time wasted in shy-guy hell almost from the very first moment that you test it out for yourself.

And now Mike's books are now packaged along with his two 90 minute and 150 minute, multi-media MP3 audio programs: 'Dealing With Your Fear of Rejection', and 'Having Kickass Confidence Around Women in Only 18 Days'... BOTH included now as complimentary bonuses at no extra charge.

That's over 500 pages of written material and 4 hours of easy listening, fun instruction.   You should get college credits for this thing!   Check HighStausMale.com for the latest details.